From Andy Borowitz at The New Yorker:
Delivering her closing argument of the 2016 campaign, Hillary Clinton has replaced her campaign slogan, “Stronger Together,” with a new one, “Won’t Blow Up Planet.”
According to Clinton-campaign sources, the new slogan is designed to appeal to suburban women, a group of voters that has historically opposed blowing up the planet.
But, even as Clinton spoke, the slogan came under fire from Donald Trump’s campaign manager, Kellyanne Conway, who said that it reflected “the failed policies of the past.”
“The American people have just had eight years of a President who didn’t blow up the planet,” Conway said. “Donald Trump is offering something different.”